


My SO found pics of an ex-husband I don't remember marrying

by BrokenJardaanTech (BlastedHead)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Amnesia, Dissociation, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27724388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlastedHead/pseuds/BrokenJardaanTech
Summary: as title suggests.
Relationships: Original Character/Original Character, Original Character/Original Male Character, original character/original non-binary character





	My SO found pics of an ex-husband I don't remember marrying

**Author's Note:**

> a character sketch in the format of two fake reddit posts. major triggers tagged.

**My SO discovered a laptop full of pics of me and my ex. I don't remember getting married before.**

As the title suggests, yesterday is the day off for me and my SO. We planned to chill for the whole day which was what we did in the morning, but then my SO got bored so I let them dig around in the attic where I usually put stuff that I don't need often away but don't have the heart to get rid of. They found an old laptop of mine and we plugged it in since it is in good condition and we were both curious. We discovered that young me a) didn't set a password and b) saved all the login information within the laptop. It was then that we discovered the pictures from back when my sister was studying in Cambridge of me, her, and a man I don't remember. I logged into this account to check its history and found out that I was apparently married to this man, and when I told my SO that I don't remember him they believed in me. Apparently we married to give me an advantage over my dad during our battle over my sister's custody (she was a minor back then), but it seems that I was already good friends with this man before that, and the marriage ended when he died of corona back in 2020. We went through all the pictures together and somehow my mind is still blank. Nothing, not even a snippet of memory returned. 

My SO is at work now. I stayed at home because I need time to process everything. I think I'm numb. I don't even know what to think about it.

EDIT: Thank you all for the kind words, but I think there are a few things that I need to clear up. 

First of all, about my sister. Some of you accused her for hiding things from me without even knowing the full picture and admittedly I was disappointed, but all you need to know is that she was in the military and went MIA ten years ago. So asking her for confirmation is impossible. 

Secondly, about my father. Some of you suggested asking him about my mysterious ex-husband, but the fact is I've gone no-contact with him after he threw a fit for losing against me in the custody battle. So I don't know where he is right now and neither do I want to ask him about it. 

Thirdly, about any friends. True, I remember making a few friends back when I was in the UK, but since most of them are/were migrant workers from eastern Europe, I don't think I told them about a husband or anything that would imply that I'm archillean. I have lost contact with the ones I did tell. 

Anyhow, my SO is being very kind and has agreed to help me look for something that will either prove or reject my ex-husband's existence. I still don't know what to feel or to think about forgetting who seems like an important figure in my life but I hope that we will find the truth as it is and leave it behind.

* * *

**Update: My SO found pics of an ex-husband I don't remember marrying**

A year has passed since my  previous post and a lot of you asked for an update, so here it is. I'll try to keep it short but a lot of things have happened (in more ways than one) so please bear with me here.

Firstly, my ex-husband is very, very real. My SO and I learnt from my posts (from many, many years ago) that he had been a professor at Cambridge until his death, and although we couldn't find much about him on the official websites, a few of my acquaintances recognised me and reached out to me and helped me reconnect with some of his friends whom I should know. I also learnt that my ex-husband was cremated and his ashes casted into the sea, so there was no gravestone or anything to visit, but what I *did* do was arranging a trip to Cambridge to try to reconnect with them. Stupid and a waste of money, I know, but I wanted answers and both me and my SO have leave days and money to spare. Most of my ex's friends were not good with technology anyway so we thought an in-person meeting would be a better idea. 

(To clear things up a little, I do remember working in Cambridge while my sister was studying there. I remember taking care of her. I remember fighting for her custody. I just don't remember anything related to my ex, and that includes his friends.)

We arranged a meeting together and it was emotional for all of us. They thought that I died during the accident 10 years ago which, looking back, might be one of the reasons why I don't remember a large chunk of my life. They filled me in on what we used to do together and what me and my ex were back then. Apparently I was already a huge linguistics nerd and that was what brought me and my ex together, and the younger me in their eyes sounded truly in love with his husband. I thought my memories would come back the more I was exposed to the environment, but nothing came back to me, and by the end of our little gathering I sort of hoped that it never happened. The discussions about languages going deep into the night, the picnics to the coast, cosy holidays together both in the city and in a secluded cabin somewhere- all of them that should have been part of me but are now no more than stories I have no recollections of. Before, it was a simple mystery, one that I could choose whether to uncover or not; now that I know how much I have forgotten, I'm acutely aware of what I've missed and been rid of, and it is one of the worst feelings I've ever had. I felt guilty for forgetting a man who've been so good to me and supported me completely during my lowest, even marrying me so that I could save my sister; lost because I don't know what I want to do about all these; terrified because I don't know if there's something else that is important to me but I have forgotten: from what my friend said after I told him about this, it isn't the first occurance of me forgetting important stuff. I don't think I've ever cried as hard and felt as exhausted in my life as when my SO and I returned to the hotel, but I'm glad that they were with me all the time. 

Secondly, I got my sister back. Yes, you read it right, my sister returned after 10 years of disappearance. I don't understand half the things she told me about; I'm just glad that she's back. And yes, she told me that my ex-husband was real and he was her father figure. I can feel that my sister and I aren't as close as before but at least we have something to bond over. Finally, we found more stuff from my time in Cambridge. Most of them are insignificant stuff such as a special edition tea leaf tin and some linguistic books I must have brought to the US when I moved back, but there were also even more pictures of us - physical copies this time, our marriage certificate, and, most importantly, our wedding rings. I'm still uncertain what I want to do with them. Right now, I am just glad that I have something to remember him by even though I don't have the memories. I did write down what I was told in a notebook just in case those disappear from my brain as well. I'm also seeing a therapist about the memory loss and processing trauma. Maybe I'll remember. Maybe I will never recall one single thing on my own about my former husband. But now that I have more or less the full image of the events, I have a SO who loves me very much, I have my sister back. I think I am content.

**Author's Note:**

> also on [tumblr](https://brokenjardaantech.tumblr.com/post/635854810923532288/character-sketch-1)
> 
> my [ask box](https://brokenjardaantech.tumblr.com/ask)


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